Last Day at Chenzhou SWI

Nine days now since we've been here! It seems like its been weeks since I left home, and yet these past few days at the Chenzhou orphanage have gone by so quickly--too quickly.

Sunday night we had a great devotion time. We spent a lot of time talking about the orphanage and such, too. All of those kids have blessed and touched each and every one of our lives. As we prayed, I don't think there was a dry eye in the room. I knew that saying goodbye the next day was going to be hard--a second time, a second year.

Am I crazy? I put myself through this last year, and I wanted to do it... AGAIN?

I mean, I started this whole journey this year saying "Call Me Crazy" (blog post). I guess I am. Its worth it to see these kids. The joy that they have, and the joy that they bring others is just amazing.

Elyssa was tired and fell asleep before devotions, and I let her sleep. When I got back to the room I slipped into bed. I couldn't sleep. I kept seeing the faces of the kids. Those who are fortunate enough to be adopted, but mostly those who were not. Those who have the possibility of being stuck at this orphanage for life.

This one girl in particular. She's 13. The cut off age in China for children to be adopted is 14 (on their 14th birthday they become ineligible for adoption). THIS IS HER LAST YEAR TO BE ADOPTED, or she'll be here forever. She's such a sweetheart. I've seen her help out with the babies, playing and caring for them, but she's also a kid at heart. She plays along with the others, and enjoyed the activities we laid before her. She has the most infectious smile and laugh. Her favorite color is yellow, and she says she wants to be adopted. She wants a home, and she NEEDS a home. The only thing "wrong" with her is that she has cerebral palsey (sp?) In her left hand. She has learned to work around it, though. I often times forget about it when I watch her play. There is no reason why this girl should not have a home by now. I can only pray that she will find a home that loves and cares for her.

As I laid in bed, I cried. I knew the next day at the orphanage was our last. Maybe my last forever. While I hope that I will be able to return, I don't know what the Lord has in store for me. Maybe it is to return to this SWI, but maybe another in a different province.

I don't know. I can't really explain what I was feeling. I was happy I got to do this again. Don't get me wrong, its such a blessing to be here. I just wish I was able to stay for so much longer. Like, a full week. Maybe even two.

Or my whole life, maybe?

I know I said this last year. But, the food is great. The beds get easier. I don't mind walking everywhere (it works off all the food we eat!), and I could learn the language.

*sigh* I guess all good things must come to an end.

I soon fell asleep, thank God. :)

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Yesterday morning (Monday) Elyssa and I were so tired that we decided to skip breakfast and sleep in a little. I'm glad I did--I hardly eat breakfast at home anyways. And we've been eating huge meals every day, that I wasn't even hungry.

We were sent straight to the baby room when we got to the orphanage. I found one of the babies whose being adopted, Austin, and played with him all morning. I've already told his parents--but he loves playing with the balls we brought, and has quite the arm. I see a possible future in football or baseball for this boy ;) he's very happy, and reminds me of a little teddy bear. I really enjoyed playing with him.
Austin and Me

The time came for us to leave, and we all said goodbye. Many of us have grown attached to our own baby at this orphanage, so it was hard. Tears streamed down faces.

Lori had a child, about 2 or 3 years old, who became attached to her. She had quite the attitude, and wanted nothing to do with anyone. Lori somehow broke through to her, and every time she left this week, this girl would cry. She did not want to leave Lori (you can read about her at Lori's blog at http://fiveofmyown.blogspot.com--she refers to her as Mu Shu Pork, haha!). That was hard for both of them, I think.
Lori w/her Mu Shu


Saying goodbye. Its never easy, and it doesn't get easier as time passes. Unfortunately.

For lunch not too many were hungry, so instead of eating our large Chinese lunches, we ran to KFC. Of course. I've never eaten this much fast food in one week. Eww.

Elyssa and I ran over to the market to find some candies and juice. We were able to successfully shop without being yelled at by the chocolate lady. Though, when I walked down the aisle with the Dove chocolate, she ran over and acted like she was checking prices. I just don't understand.

At the hotel I tried to pack a little bit. Somehow when I packed, my checked suitcase filled up really quickly. I did take most of my clothes out of my carry on... But still. That thing was huge and FULL of donations. I don't get how I fit everything I had in there into my carry ons on the way here.

For the afternoon at the orphanage we thought it'd be nice to throw a little party. So we bought the kids a cake and brought it over.

As we walked over that day Elyssa looks over at me and says, "well, this is our last walk to the orphanage." *tear*

When we got there, we were told to go upstairs. When I walked down the hall, the older kids were all standing by the door peeking out. When I looked in the door, there was my little boy sweeping.

I wondered as we were walking whether or not he'd be there. I figured he would be at school because he normally is. I hoped he would be, but I almost hoped he wouldn't, because I knew it'd be hard to see his face and have to say goodbye. Especially after last year when he started crying.

But there he was. The crazy girl came and took my hand and ran around... Crazy as she always is ;)

We brought them downstairs and sat them down. We opened the cake and the look on their faces was great. We put a candle in the cake. This candle was really cool--it was a flower, and when you lit it, it opened up and blossomed and sang! I was more amazed than the kids, I think. Haha.

We served cake and juice, and they devoured it. Frosting was all over faces :)

The oldest girl (13) and my boy, Will, were able to have some before they left for school. But soon after eating they had to leave. I grabbed him and gave him a huge hug and got one last picture with him. Tears filled my eyes, but I kept myself from actually crying.

After cleaning up the cake we brought all of our dress up items out. Costumes, hair clips, headbands with colored hair attached, necklaces, tutus, glasses, and dragon tails. They all just loved it. It was funny to see the kids who tried to get one of everything on their body. The crazy girl was one of those, of course. I just love her so much. She has so much personality, its great.

After dressing up we put on some music and had a little parade/dance in the room. I held hands with Miss Crazy and a sweet little girl with down syndrome. We danced and played all around. Crazy kept bending backwards relying on me to keep her from falling--I don't know how that girl does it. She's so flexible. The other girl was just smiling away, jumping up and down. :)

To calm them down, we took out little scratch-off ornaments. The kids had a lot of fun with them. It was cool to see how artistic a lot of them are. Miss Crazy drew some lovely flowers. She came up to me and held it up like she wanted a picture, so I took one. Then she handed them to me. I asked if they were for me, and she nodded yes.

I cried.

She's such a sweet girl, and for her to give them to me, it just made me so happy.

I gave her a BIG hug and told her thank you. She thought the hug was so funny. She just laughed and laughed. After that she would keep coming up to me and giving me hugs. And I realized, I don't think I've ever given her an actual hug--and obviously our team hasn't either for her to think it was so funny (I mean, its not like we've ever been able to get her still long enough to give a hug;)). That girl is nothing but fun. Always laughing and smiling. I don't think I've ever seen her upset--and when she is, its only over small things.



Oh, can I also say that the girl that I mentioned a few days ago (the one with the muscle disorder) was smiling today--the biggest smile I've seen all week. Members from our team all spent a little time with her today, and she was so happy to be dressed up and marching around. It really touched my heart.

I left a little early to go find some babies who are being adopted. Their new parents wanted some updates on how they were doing. I played with a few of them, and then the rest of the team came up. They said they had said their goodbyes and took a group picture. I was kind of sad I missed it. But I had left my bag downstairs, so I ran down to get it.

I was pleased to see all the kids were still down there. I went around and gave each of them kisses on the cheek. When I got to Miss Crazy, she wrapped her arm around me and laughed.

I'm going to miss her so much.

I said goodbye and blew more kisses and left. The elevator ride up seemed so long. I don't know why, but goodbyes seem so much worse when you're by yourself.

None of us expected to be back in the baby room again. We had already said our goodbyes, but I think most were happy to have more time. Though Lori says, "oh I don't wanna do this again. I already ripped this bandaid off once... Now I'll have to do it again."

Back in the baby room I played and fed miss Lyla. I've already emailed her parents, but she's also a very happy baby. She just loves being played with. She's ticklish and loves playing airplane. And she's a very small girl, but as cute as can be.

Time came to say our real goodbyes. In the elevator all we could hear was sniffles.

We had a meeting with the director and presidents of the orphanage. They told us how grateful they were that we came and helped out. And they said they hoped we would come again someday. They presented us with gifts. Each of us got a map of Chenzhou and a beautiful piece of embroidery, case and stand to go with it. It was very pretty.

As we left the oldest girl (13) was walking back from school. I ran up to her and gave her a big hug. As we walked on, I looked back to see her smiling face once more and prayed that if I ever came back, she would not be here because she had found a family.

We went out to dinner with the directors and a few of the nannies. They took us to the same place as last year. I sat down, and it felt so different. Last year Will and the older girl came with us, and they sat on either side of me. I remember as each new food came around they got excited and asked me to get it for them. And I wasn't so great at chopsticks, and I wasn't able to get it for them fast enough. Haha. I was like their mother for a night, and I hardly ate anything.
I got to eat my food last night, but it wasn't exciting. I would have rather gone hungry and had those kids with me again, than to eat a nice meal. But that's okay.

The dinner was very nice. Shannon was bold enough to pray and we had Fun (our guide) translate. The food was great. With the help of Fun, we were able to ask questions and talk with the directors. I really did enjoy myself. Even with the lack of kids.

Lori and Shannon were curious about our trip compared to last year. I'd say it was about the same. Though we did not get to spend as much time with the older kids, it was worth it. All the hard work and stress to get here was so worth it. If I had only gotten to see them for a day, it would have been worth it. I was just happy to be back.

We also thought that we built more of a relationship with the orphanage and the workers. I think the fact that a team from VO cared enough to come back and love on them and the kids, really made a difference. I hope a team comes back next year so we do keep up that relationship. Because really, by the end, I felt like they were my friends. I love them all so very much.

I think we had a lot of people saying they would come back again if they could. Maybe a Chenzhou team in 2012 will be filled with many from this year's team. I would hope so. How amazing would that be? I hope I can come back again.

Shannon said that if she were to come back again, she would want someone on the team who could speak the language. Fun was wonderful, but sometimes it was still hard. And we all felt bad because we would just bombard her with questions. I told her I really am going to work on learning Mandarin this year. I know I said it last year, but this time I mean it. Hah. I'm going to do it.

She also said that next year she'll suggest spending more time there. It felt like we were just beginning to know the kids and build their trust, and we had to leave. The director said it would be fine, and that we could stay as long as we wanted if we were to come back. We may just take her up on that offer ;)

We had to say goodbye, but not before pictures. The director was sweet and pulled me close to her in the picture. We gave hugs and said bye. I think it was hardest for me to say goodbye to the head nanny. She was my favorite last year (and still is), and she's just so sweet. You can really tell she loves the children with all her heart and she cares for us as well.

We walked away, and it was just a weird feeling, knowing we would not wake up to go see the kids tomorrow morning.

We got back and I was so tired. It was a draining day--physically and emotionally. I packed up the rest of my stuff, wrote some updates on babies to send to their waiting parents, and went to bed.

I am now sitting on the bus driving to Changsha. About 3 hours ago I looked out the window and watched the view of Chenzhou leave my window. Its just a weird feeling. It can't be described. The kids just leave such a great mark on your life, and you wish you could take them all home. Or stay forever.

Oh well.

Today we drive to Changsha, and then we fly to Beijing. Tomorrow we'll be spending the day at Shepard's Field playing with the kids and such. And then the next day will be sightseeing/shopping.

I probably won't blog tonight, because nothing too interesting will be happening.

Though, the last time I said that, our group leader's purse got stolen. So hopefully, that statement will be true this time. Haha.

Thank you all for your prayers. I believe they helped us all. For the most part we composed our tears yesterday. Even though I was sad to leave, I felt a peace that the Lord is looking over that orphanage, and has great plans for those kids.