UPDATED: ALL IN

Well, it seems that our China trip has taken a turn.

I received news today that we won't be able to visit Chenzhou. A few things have come up, and we aren't able to visit at this time. 

I'm deeply grieved and very heartbroken. 

I'd be lying if I said that I didn't shed tears over the news.

I miss my kids, I miss the nannies. 

I miss Chenzhou. 

When traveling, I always expect for there to be little bumps. Especially when traveling on missions… it seems to be the devil's way of trying to mess with us. We've lost luggage, had cancelled flights, etc.

But I can honestly say that I never expected this. 

My heart hurts thinking of the kids in that orphanage. I had plans for them. I picked out crafts with these kids specifically in mind. 

But the fact of the matter is… there's nothing we can do about it at this time. 

We have decided as a team that we are still going to go to China. Our airline tickets have already been purchased, and there's really no point in staying home.

See the thing is, no matter where we go, God can still use us. 

Would I rather it have been in Chenzhou? Selfishly, yes. 

But I know that all we have to do is be available, ready to do His work, and He will use us. 

So, it seems that we will be finding a new orphanage to visit. There are 153 million orphans in the world. They need some love, too. We are looking into options on where we will go, and hopefully have the details nailed out in the next day.

We are still leaving as planned. Bright and early tomorrow morning! 

~~~~

Last year, our group leader asked us to come up with a word or a phrase for our trip. And I think if I had to choose one this year, my phrase would have to be, "All In". 

The way I see it, I have two options. 1) I can let this ruin my trip. It's upsetting that I won't be able to see my friends. OR 2) I can be excited for what this week holds and for what the Lord is going to do in and through us. 

I choose the second.

I've recently been talking to my mom about how in order to see change in a situation, you need to make sure that you're "all in", putting all your efforts in. 

So, this trip, I choose to be ALL IN. 

All my efforts, all my energy, all my ability. It is all for the Lord. I'm giving it to Him, and surrendering this situation to Him. We are having faith that He is in control and will lead us where we need to be.

Here's some ways you can pray for us:

Pray for high spirits in the days to come. Pray for safe flights, and that everything will go smoothly from here on out. Pray that the details are nailed out soon. Pray for those we come in contact with, and for the children we will be loving. Pray that the Lord will show up in amazing ways.

***UPDATE:
We have received word from China that we are now able to visit the orphanage for a few days next week. We are more than thankful for this opportunity. God is moving mountains!

Thank you so much to everyone who prayed today. God hears our prayers and He is answering them. He is working miracles! Excited for this week. We have some shifting around to do in regards to our schedule, but we will be there. Please pray as we smooth out the details still. Pray for our coordinator who is now working overtime to work all these details together. Thank you guys so much! 

Meet the Team!

Well… it's that time year where I start blogging again. And you know what that means: it's almost CHINA time! 

In fact, we're quickly approaching China. We leave on FRIDAY… THREE days! I am SO excited.

I've had a few people ask about who I'm traveling with this year, so before we take off I thought it would be nice to introduce the team.  We are a small team, but I am excited because we'll get to know each other very well. I'm believing that God is going to do amazing things this year. I've had the privilege to chat with them the last couple of weeks, and I love their enthusiasm and passion for the orphan. But I'll let you learn about them yourselves. :) 

Here's Team Chenzhou 2014:

Meet Bob (team leader)

Bob and his wife Tracey live in the Nashville, TN area where Bob is involved in the commercial real estate finance industry. Bob’s passion is people, especially building relationships and being an encourager. Being used by God to connect people with a need to someone who can help fill that need is one of his greatest joys. Having served as a teacher, elder and occasional fill in preacher for many years, Bob’s call to missions didn’t come until 2011 when he was introduced to Visiting Orphans.

In 2012 Bob took his first short term mission trip to Chaoyang China where his heart was broken for the orphans and for the Chinese people. Bob says that prior to this time neither orphan ministry or China were on his radar but God changed that in a matter of minutes! To be able to simply go and love on orphaned children demonstrating the love of our heavenly Father is a blessing beyond words. While the extent of the orphan’s needs in our world can seem overwhelming, we can all make a difference one child at a time. Since traveling with Visiting Orphans to China Bob has traveled to Haiti with a group his church supports and now serves as director of missions for his church. Returning to China in 2014 as a team leader is a joy and an honor.

Bob and Tracey have a daughter, a son, a daughter-in-law and were recently blessed with their first grandchild. In addition to being active in their church and community, they treasure spending time with their family, traveling together and hanging out with their two golden retrievers.

Meet Rachel 

(Rachel and her sister) 

Rachel grew up in Mechanicsburg, Pennsylvania with her parents, Jim and Cathy, her brother, Matthew, and sister, Jenni. In 2002, her family traveled to Nanjing, China to adopt Jenni at 10 months of age; all were forever changed by this precious life chosen specifically by God for their family. Jenni is blessed to share the connection of her Chinese heritage with three cousins that were adopted from Wuhan, Beihai, and Chenzhou, China.

Rachel moved to Lynchburg, Virginia in 2008 to attend Liberty University. She studied biology and health and competed for the University’s gymnastics team during her four years as an undergraduate student. Rachel is currently pursuing her Master’s in Public Health and Nutrition from Liberty University and is the coach of the gymnastics team. Aside from school and gymnastics, Rachel enjoys traveling, exercising, and hanging out with friends and family!

Meet Megan 

Megan grew up in Nashville, Tennessee with her parents, Cindy and Patrick, her brother Matthew, and two little sisters, Miyah and Mei Lin. Megan's family adopted Miyah in 2004, and Mei Lin in 2006. Megan is switching into first person now because writing in third person is difficult ;). I've loved China since I was three years old. I would continuously ask my mom to rent books from the library about China, and my favorite movie was Mulan. I was fortunate enough to travel to China when we adopted my two beautiful sisters. 

When I was 15, I took my first mission trip to Chenzhou, China with Visiting Orphans. Little did I know that my whole world would be shaken as a high school Sophomore. Over the week I spent in Chenzhou I fell in love with the city, the people, the sights, the smells, but most importantly, the orphanage. It was in 2010 that God completely broke my heart for the orphan, and I found my "second home". Since 2010 I have been back every summer to serve and love the children in the Chenzhou orphanage. This will be my 5th trip to Chenzhou. I've seen our relationship with the orphanage staff and children grow every year, and I am so thrilled to be back again this year.

I am currently a student at Lee University studying Elementary Education. Lord willing, I would love to teach in an orphanage someday! In my free time, I love spending time with friends and family, going to concerts, or catching up on my favorite tv shows. I'm also the writer of this blog! You can scroll through to find other posts about my previous trips to China, and find picture of the sweet children. :) 

I will be updating the blog (hopefully) everyday on the trip, so if you're looking to see what we do while we're over there, then stop by and check it out!

Please pray for us as we are in our final days of packing and preparing for the trip. Also pray for us as we travel, and for everyone that we come in contact with. Pray that God will open doors in Chenzhou and that He will do amazing things this month. We appreciate it so much! 

China 2014

I know some of you have asked me what my plans are for this summer.

And that's when it occurred to me, I've been MIA lately. School has just kept me so busy this year, that I haven't even thought to post about China.

Going into this year, I wasn't sure if I would be able to go back to China in the summer of 2014. I knew I would be in school, and I wasn't sure if I would have much time to work or fundraise. Or if I would even have time the next summer to take off of work/if I wanted to take classes in the summer or not.

I prayed and wrestled with the idea for most of my first semester. The faces of my beautiful children halfway across the world haunted my dreams at night. I longed to be able to return to my second home, but I knew that the chances were slim.

Many people from the previous trips were not able to return to Chenzhou for numerous reasons. Money, adoptions, school, etc. I totally understand all of these reasons, but it broke my heart thinking that no one from previous trips would be returning to Chenzhou. I struggled thinking that if I were to stay home this summer, no familiar faces would visit the Chenzhou orphanage, and the relationship that we have built with the orphanage director, nannies, and children, would be lost.

I prayed. I asked God for direction and trusted that He would provide an answer, and no matter what he chose to tell me, it would be in the best interest of Chenzhou.

As most of you know, I received my answer as a big surprise on Christmas morning.

Now, let me give you a little back story to this. A couple weeks before Christmas I had no idea what my parents were getting me for Christmas (I didn't really ask for/need anything). I'm the kid that usually knows what she'll be getting weeks in advance.

So when I asked if they already got my Christmas presents for me, and my mom answered yes, I was confused. I figured they were going to just give me money. Honestly, I was going to ask for printer ink, and I would've been happy with just that (you know you're an adult when you ask for printer ink for Christmas).

Come Christmas morning, I'm opening up my presents, and the biggest surprise came my way. My parents gave me a gift voucher to pay for most of my mission trip this summer.

I was in complete shock, and naturally started bawling my eyes out. The best present I could have ever asked for.

I guess this was God giving me my answer.

I'm going to China this summer.

I'm just so incredibly blessed to have parents who love and support me and my passion and heart for the orphan.

{{if anyone's wondering, I also received printer ink. So I guess you could say that this was a pretty good Christmas}}

So far, there are only three people signed up for the Chenzhou trip, including me and the group leader.

I am not intimidated by the small number, because I know the Lord can use any amount of people to do His will.

BUT, I will say, that if you feel called to work with orphans this summer, we are accepting more members to be apart of this trip. Check it out here. I'm willing to answer any questions you may have. :)

Currently we are leaving on July 18th, and I'm coming back on the 30th. The rest of the team will be returning July 28th, but I'm staying a couple extra days to spend at New Hope in Beijing. I'm thrilled that I'll be able to see my heart babies from last summer, and I'll be able to see the facility they're staying in/meet their nannies.

The team leader actually lives close to me, so I'm excited that I'll have a travel companion all the way to China, because that makes the trip a bit more enjoyable. :)

I'm really excited for what God has in store for Chenzhou this year, and I'm really believing for amazing things to happen.

I'll keep you posted on any other Chenzhou related news. We're going to start planning our trip soon, and I'll need donations for the kids and nannies.

So thrilled that I'll be back in less than 70 days! I cannot wait to hug Paul's sweet arms and see Joy's smiling face.

I Live in a Sauna

Yesterday I received this text from my roommate: 

Here, let me explain.

Monday night we came back to our dorm from a relaxing Easter weekend and before I left to visit with friends, I quickly turned the temp down a little bit, and came back realizing that it hadn't gotten much cooler. A couple days passed, and again, I realized that our room was still pretty hot. But it's getting warmer outside, so I thought maybe I was just going crazy and was just pretty warm in our room all the time.

Finally Emily came into the room the other day and said, "Is it really hot to you, too?!" And we checked the thermostat to see what was wrong. Apparently it's broken, and we don't know how to fix it. Lucky for us, maintenance hasn't come fix it yet. 

Our room is hot, ya'll. 

Like, we've been waking up at night sweating.

We took our fan and put it on the ground, and we took the mattresses and put them on the ground, so the fan blows on both of us at night now. I will say, it's like a little sleepover every night. But the excitement is quickly overshadowed by the fact that it's still steaming hot, and we currently can't walk anywhere in our room. 

My roommate and I have a tendency to jokingly complain about petty things. But unfortunately, I've let myself turn this into actual complaining. Everyday I wake up and I find myself upset by my current living conditions. I'm grumpy because I have to blow my hair dry in the sauna. As if I wasn't hot already. Or that I can't sit at my desk and do my hair/makeup because my mattress currently has my chair locked away under my desk. 

I dreamt about my beautiful China babies last night, and woke up feeling as if I was in China again. The sweat on my brow (ew, I know) reminded me of the hot nights spent tossing and turning in the hotel when the air conditioning turns off around 1 am. 

And that's when it occurred to me. It was as if God was giving me a big slap in the face. 

MEGAN. You're being so petty.

I was reminded of my sweet babies in the orphanage that don't have central air or heat. Suddenly I had flashbacks to summers spent in the orphanage, seeing the sweat drip off the kids' faces, and the heat rash all over the babies' skin.

And I started thinking of all the things that I am so privileged to have. I started to kick myself thinking of how broken and changed I am every year when coming back from my missions trips, seeing the living conditions these kids live in, but how quickly I slip back into my homey life back in the States. I realized that I take so much for granted. 

Instead of being upset that my room might be a couple (or 10) degrees hotter than I would like, I should be thankful for everything that I do have. Like, the fact that I even have a room to live in, a bed to sleep on, an education, a job, and so much more. 

And as it happens, when I sat down to do my quiet time today, a notecard with this verse fell out of my Bible:

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

~1 Thessalonians 15:16-18~

Okay, God. I get it. I haven't had a joyful attitude, and I haven't been thankful through it all. 

And I find that not only in this very minor situation, but even throughout this semester there have been times when I have forgotten this verse. There have been days when I have been devastated and angry about my situation instead of finding joy and thanking Him for my circumstances, thanking Him for this chance to learn, and to grow in deeper dependence on Him. 

Well, today I choose joy. A joy that only comes from relying on my savior and being thankful through very circumstance. Today I choose to fall into opportunities to rely on the Lord instead of resisting them. 

And on the bright side, I only have a week and a half left in the dorm room. And hey, maybe I'll lose some of that Freshman 15 from being in the sauna at night ;). 

Update on Heart Babies

I realize it's been awhile since I've given you all an update on Sarah and Charlotte. I just received new pictures of them last week, and I was completely blown away by the progress that they are making!

We got news the other day that Sarah had heart surgery last month and is now recovering, and doing very well now. So thankful that she's finally been able to get the surgery she needs.
Charlotte is still doing well, but will need several more surgeries in the future. If you could continue to pray for these sweet girls, I would appreciate it so much. Charlotte still has a long road ahead of her, and Sarah is still in recovery.

So thankful for the Lord's hand in everything. I don't know where these girls would be without Him and His amazing miracles!

Here are some updated pictures!

Baby Charlotte: It's crazy to think that just 7 months ago we were calling her the "blue baby" when we met her. She looks so healthy and happy. Warms my heart. 

Sarah: She looks like a toddler now! She's no longer a scrawny little baby. My heart is filled with joy to see the transformation. 

What's New?

I realized a couple days ago that it's been awhile since I've given an update on all things related to the heart babies and Chenzhou in general. I'll try to keep this short and sweet but... here's an update on my sweet kids. :)

New Hope told us that Sarah and Charlotte were adjusting to their new homes well. They emailed us a little over a month ago saying that Charlotte was hospitalized but was doing fine, but we received an email a couple weeks later saying she needed emergency surgery. The doctor said she was back in the orphanage and recovering well. Prayers for her as she is probably still recovering and getting used to her environment is so appreciated. I was scared at first when I heard that she was hospitalized (and very shocked/scared when I heard she had surgery), but I'm just so thankful that she is in a place that recognizes that she needs immediate attention and is able to give it to her. Thanking God for His hand in that.

August 2013

New Hope also told us that Sarah is doing very well. And from these pictures I received last month... I'd say she's doing wonderful. Here's some comparison pictures:

July 2013

August 28, 2013

Look at what difference love and care can make in just one month. I just can't believe the difference in her; she looks like a completely different baby. This the little girl that, in the time that I spent with her BOTH years, never smiled. This is the child whose skin would literally hang off of her because she was so skinny. But now, she looks so happy and so chubby! Look at that double chin! I can't even handle it. I was ecstatic when I got those pictures. Ask my roommate... I was in tears.

In other news... Once Katheryn got home, she worked hard on getting Emerson (as well as a few others) surgery on her cleft lip. We got pictures a couple of months ago with this picture of her! She was so beautiful before, but we're so happy that her lip was repaired so she eat easier and grow stronger!

She has also been matched with a family, but we haven't found who yet. We're very exciting that she has a family though! One less orphan...

Speaking of one less orphan... Our team leader, Shannon, announced some very exciting news this week! Remember Taylor? Well, their family has decided to adopt him! They are all so thrilled, and we are so excited for him to have a family as well! :)

I think that's all for now. Please continue to pray for our friends in Chenzhou, as well as the nannies who are working tirelessly to care for these precious children. Also please keep Sarah and Charlotte in your prayers. We need Charlotte to recover and for them both to get stronger for surgery. Pray for New Hope and the nannies there that are caring for my precious babies. We are SO grateful for them.

I've also been praying about next year's trip, and I have some tough decisions to make. So if you all would keep me in your prayers, I would appreciate that as well. Praying that the Lord leads me in the right direction.

That's all for now, but I hope to hear more on my heart babies soon!

Exciting News!

Just a few things to catch everyone up on...

First thing... Yes, I am alive. :)

I know I haven't posted anything since my last day in Chenzhou. I wanted to. I wanted to post pictures from Beijing. I didn't have time while we were there.

I wanted to write a post once I got home. Just a reflection. But I couldn't. I couldn't find the words.

I would toss and turn at night thinking of my sweet kids. Wondering if they ask for us. Wondering if they are still hoping that we will come back soon. Wondering if sweet Nathan, Minnie, and Angelina were searching their cribs for us in the morning... waiting for us to pick them up and play.

I would go to work and watch as children would whine and complain about how they needed more clothes. They needed this shirt to go with these pants. They needed this headband and shoes because they matched. They needed them.

And it made me ill inside thinking of the kids, who I just held in my arms 72 hours earlier, that had a total of two outfits. Two.

Sweet Lena showing off her fruit loop necklace

I felt guilty. Guilty living in this wealthy country where kids have the ability to whine and convince their parents that they need more clothes. Guilty for living the way that I do.

I still can't seem to find the words for how I feel.

Sad. Guilty. Broken.

So many thoughts and emotions run through my head on a daily basis concerning Chenzhou. Not a day goes by that I don't think of my kids in that orphanage.

Upon my arrival home, I was constantly checking my email waiting for news on the heart babies.

We left Chenzhou with no papers signed, no idea when they would be signed. Just "soon" according to the director. So we prayed and hoped that she would do it over the weekend while we were traveling. We prayed we would hear news when we got home.

But we didn't. In fact, we kept getting confusing information. Which ultimately freaked me out. What on earth is going on in China? Why is this so confusing? I kept thinking.

I don't think I've ever  checked my email as much as I did that week when I returned home.

And with every check of my email I wished that we could be there holding them.

Every day. Every night. I would go to bed and think, "Oh, it's ___ time there, I'm sure they'll email me back today. I'll check it one more time." And then I would wake up around 2 am and check it again, because it was afternoon there. And then again in the morning. I was seriously addicted. And my phone hardly left my side.

Finally, on July 25th I got an email saying that Sarah and Charlotte would be going to Beijing sometime the following week. I was ecstatic! I quickly called my friends Amy and Julia to share the news, and we both cried over the phone and rejoiced together.

They would be in Beijing soon. They would get the nutrients that they needed soon. They would be healthy again, soon. And they would get those life saving surgeries, SOON.

Those toes would soon turn to a pretty pink color!

PRAISE GOD.

August 2nd I woke up to an email from a friend and our China guide telling me the same thing: Sarah and Charlotte had arrived in Beijing two days earlier (July 31st), and they were getting settled into their new environment. THEY WERE THERE!

EVEN BIGGER PRAISE.

I was so excited. It was just the kind of news that I needed going into working the crazy tax-free weekend. I was so excited.

Singing praises to God all day. And I'm still singing them. He is SO good. All the glory goes to Him.

One thing that I talk to Amy about was the fact that while we were there, we both felt so helpless. We couldn't do anything on our own. There is so much brokenness in an orphanage. So much hurt. So many needs. And we couldn't fix any of them. But we serve a God who is mighty, who holds each and every one of these orphans, each and every one of their needs in His hands. And HE can fix them all.

Praising God for His hand in everything. He has worked miracles, and I'm so blessed to have been able to witness them.


I have a few more prayers: Pray that Sarah and Charlotte would transition into their new "home" easily. Pray that they would be at peace, and that the Lord would comfort them during this time. Pray that they get healthy, that their bodies absorb all the nutrients that they need. Pray that they stay strong. Pray that they are fighters.

That had been my prayer last year. Dear Lord, I pray that Sarah and Cassie are fighters. Hold on. Keep them strong.

I am so sad and still so torn up by the fact that Cassie has passed away. I wish we would have stepped up sooner to help save her life. But I know that she has been completely healed by the Healer, and her heart is whole. I know that she is in heaven celebrating the great news of her friends with all the angels.

Sarah is our little fighter. Praying she continues to fight!

THANK YOU to everyone who has prayed for these sweet babies. Your prayers and words of encouragement has meant more than you know to me and to my team. And Sarah thanks you, too. :)